


What if I loved all these what ifs away

by prince_rivailles



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Ereri Week, Ereri Week 2019, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Language, M/M, Marriage, Mild Smut, Misunderstandings, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 02:28:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20807009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prince_rivailles/pseuds/prince_rivailles
Summary: Eren and Levi have been together for years--long enough to have their friends wonder why they haven’t married yet. But to both of them, marriage has never mattered until the curious bombardment of questions from their friends have them start questioning if the other cares. When Eren finally does brings it up one day, Levi panics and runs out of the apartment.What the fuck had he done?





	What if I loved all these what ifs away

**Author's Note:**

> For Ereri Week 2019 prompt: Marriage! Title borrowed from one of my favorite country songs because I couldn't think of one. The weird marriage fic nobody ever asked for and I only know how to write angst, what could possibly go wrong? 
> 
> Created in collaboration with [L_Leonhardt's artwork](https://l-leonhardt.tumblr.com/post/188007107195/marriage). Please check out her awesome piece for this fic! Thank you for working with me again lovely!
> 
> Enjoy and thanks for reading!

It’s Saturday afternoon. 

They’re seated on the couch with Levi’s head resting against Eren’s shoulders, blissfully half dozing off while binging Netflix. It’s comfortable; he’s comfortable. Levi thinks that they’ve long ago reached that comforting stage where sitting in silence wouldn’t faze him, where doing nothing or just binging Netflix together is enough.

That’s what he’s always loved most about Eren--that they were always on the same page. There was a mutual understanding between them that had always just made sense. Eren understood Levi and vice versa; they never needed to deal with drama or “play the game” that he heard so much about back in his college days. There wasn’t a need to impress each other or to prove anything. Most of all, they didn’t need marriage to keep them together.

It was never a concept he understood--marriage. Why couldn’t two perfectly happy people be in love and live domestically together without needing to be married? It made perfect sense to Levi, but he knew others didn’t always see it that way. He had watched his best friend Erwin throw the most presumptions wedding after all and _that _had certainly made no sense to Levi.

It’s never been something they spoke about directly--Levi had never asked--but Levi had always felt that Eren shared those thoughts. Eren never brought up the idea of marriage, but he seemed content enough and that had been good enough for Levi. _So long as Eren was happy._

Levi had always said it wasn’t that he had anything against marriage, but that concept had never really settled into his mind. Instead, even after all these years it’s stayed foreign and distant. When he was younger, people would talk about it even as it was in the distant future, but for Levi? He never really considered it, not _even_ in his distant future.

Then again, Levi never expected to end up _here_, either. Finding someone that was content enough to do almost nothing with him on a Saturday afternoon was not what he ever thought he’d be able to do back then.

Perhaps it had been pure chance. Finding Eren in college amongst the bustling insanity that was student life and sleepless nights had surely just been luck. Really fucking good luck on Levi’s part. 

…

_ **Seven years ago** _

Sitting at a bar on a Friday night was so typical college behavior, it was only natural to act as if there was nothing better to do than getting shit-faced and pretend like the impending doom of work wasn’t piling over them to be due Monday. So that was exactly what Levi always did. Except he never really went with the intent to take someone home with him the way his friends tended to do. Every time they went to a bar Erwin and Hanji always had this game they would play: find someone they’re attracted to and bet on who could get the other person to leave with them the fastest. 

Levi never played, never cared--until now.

It wasn’t about the game. It wasn’t, not that Hanji nor Erwin seemed to have been having any luck getting anywhere that night, but what Levi did had been about something else. Levi isn’t sure what made him do it, isn’t sure why undeniable attraction shivers down his spine. Maybe he was just horny and tired of jerking off to his own hands, but with some definiteness he realized then and there that he wanted this guy tonight.

"God, he's a cutie! Maybe he'll--" 

"This one's mine," Levi snaps a little too forceful and much too fast as he cuts Hanji off. His eyes traced the features of the figure that walked in, those messy brown locks and stunning eyes even from across the bar attracting him more than anyone ever has. He couldn’t say what it was, but his words had came out with too much possession, too much passion for someone who had never taken an interest in anyone before, let alone any part in Hanji and Erwin’s stupid game. 

Hanji stares in shock, mouth still open from the sentence Levi had cut them off from. Erwin blinks and asks, "Did I hear him right?"

But Levi has already hopped off his bar stool, ignoring the way his two best friends’ eyes were staring after him in confusion as he made his way to the unsuspecting stranger that had just walked into the bar.

He really _is_ cute. And popular, with the way the rowdiest table in the bar that night starts howling and breaks out into loud cheers as the other man approaches their table. 

Levi remembered thinking, he wouldn’t mind a challenge and at the very least, even if he failed, it would be an interesting experience. 

Not that he ever failed. 

A drunken night of flirting at a local bar had somehow turned into making out in the back of his car. The next thing he remembered, he was fucking Eren against his dorm room door, knowing perfectly well that the walls were nowhere near soundproof and that a bed was five feet away, but even that had seemed too far. What surprised him though, was the morning after which hadn’t been awkward in the slightest waking up next to Eren in his bed (that they had somehow made it onto the night before after releasing messily on each other). Levi hated messes, hated feeling “dirty” in a nonsexual way, and yet he hadn’t minded so much of the mess they had made the night before. And when Eren had asked if he wanted to get breakfast that morning, it had been so comfortable and easy that Levi agreed. 

So naturally, after another round of sex and showering before going for breakfast and exchanging numbers, Levi had thought nothing of it. He never thought that there’d be more of those nights or mornings, let alone that he’d find Eren’s company to be beyond just tolerable. Not in a million years did he ever expect that between all those mornings and nights together and getting to know each other that he’d fall in love along the way. Love had been the last thing on his mind when he met Eren, but before he realized it one thing had led to another. And another. 

At some point, Eren had asked him out, he had agreed--without another thought--because he had been twenty-one and Eren had been so full of passion, so full of _life_ and it had always felt so natural, why the hell not? Plus the sex was good, always so fucking good. 

Eren had made everything simple and falling in love with him over the years was just another piece of a puzzle. 

…

_ **Present** _

Levi blinks out of his daze, refocusing on the TV screen before him and it’s only then that he realizes that they’ve finished watching “Sherlock” for the second time. Levi would never admit it, but it was every bit as good as Eren had said and he didn’t even mind watching it again. Lifting his head from Eren’s shoulder, he turns and realizes that Eren’s awake and hadn’t dozed off. 

Eren looks at him, biting his bottom lip and if Levi has learned anything over the years, it’s that he knows that look from Eren. “What is it?” 

Levi raises an eyebrow as Eren stares at him for another moment, an expression Levi can’t quite place, before Eren looks away. “Nothing. Just thinking.”

“About…”

Eren’s gaze returns to him and he looks a little fidgety, his nails grazing against his other arm as he shrugs, “Well I was just wondering. You know. What you think...”

An audible sigh escapes Levi as he sits up straighter against the couch. “You know you can ask me anything and I’ll answer. You’re going to hurt yourself thinking so hard, so if you’re wondering what I’m thinking, just come out and ask.” 

The next blur of events happen so fast that when Levi thinks back on it later, he doesn’t even know what really happened.

“What do you think about marriage?” Eren blurts, ignoring Levi’s insult that he normally would’ve retorted on. 

The last word Eren blurts out seems to echo inside of Levi’s head and suddenly Levi’s heart is speeding up in a way he doesn’t even know why. Levi’s voice comes out a little uneven, as he asks, “What?”

It all comes out in a rush as Eren continues, “I said, what do you think about marriage? You know...like…I don’t know, if we were to get married or whatever. We never really talked about it and you know, I’ve just been thinking and...”

_Or whatever. _

Ah, right. That’s the thing; they never had this conversation. Levi had assumed. It’s been fucking years and he had assumed.

Levi hears Eren rambling on next to him, looking hesitant and slightly out of his element, but Levi can’t focus on any of the words, not with the flash of panic that scatters across him. His mind seems to be running a mile a minute as thoughts of having been mistaken takes over. 

_Have I misunderstood this whole time? Maybe I was the one he was waiting on. Maybe I was wrong to assume that we were on the same page about everything. I just assumed he felt the same way about marriage…and fuck, he’s probably been waiting. What if he’s been waiting for me to propose all this time? All these years..._

It’s a few minutes later that Levi realizes in panic that Eren has stopped talking. Eren has stopped talking, but Levi hadn’t picked up a word since Eren had told him he had been “thinking”. 

The next thing he knows he’s choking out words, words that if he had to put a label to would be something that makes him wonder what the actual fuck is wrong with him. Or when he became a liar too, because he had literally just told Eren that he would answer, whatever it was. And yet Levi’s next words are, “You know what Eren? I have to go, uh, get milk. We’re out of milk. I just remembered. I’ll... run to the store real quick.”

And then he’s out of there. Levi is bolting off the couch, grabbing his keys and wallet off the coffee table so fast that he’s closed the distance across the room in record time. The slam of the door as he leaves the apartment would’ve been deafening if he had been paying attention, but he wasn’t--couldn’t, not with the way his heart was threatening to pound out of his chest, his mind in overdrive at the thought of Eren’s view on marriage.

It isn’t until he’s two blocks away from their apartment that Levi realizes he’s left his car behind, that he’s literally walking to the grocery store and--Levi doesn’t know when he turned into such a madman.

...

The market is only half a mile away, but given any other occasion, he would’ve drove there. Carrying groceries home half a mile wasn’t exactly his idea of fun.

Levi insists to himself that he has nothing against marriage, but he never thought he’d be in one or that marriage would ever be something he had to consider regardless of his friend’s perspective. Hanji would always pester him about when he was getting married because “You know you’re not getting any younger” and even Erwin had had that look in his eyes, going as far as asking him one night, “So when you are going to do it?”

Levi had been confused as he asked, “Do what?”

“Come on Levi, you know what I’m talking about.”

Levi had resisted rolling his eyes as he retorted, “_No_, I don’t. So either spit it out or go shit on someone else.”

Erwin had sighed almost dramatically as he said, “I’m talking about when you’re going to get married. He’s the one, isn’t he?”

It had taken a moment, before Levi had blinked back at him and then glared, more offended than anything. “Eren’s always been _the _only one.”

“Exactly. So why haven’t you proposed yet? He’s probably waiting you know. You’re twenty-eight.”

“Yeah and? It’s not like that between us. Marriage isn’t everything.” 

He never understood and never cared about why people were so sold on the idea of marriage. Or why it was such a big deal, because honestly when it came down it to it wasn’t it just expensive bands of metal and a piece of paper?

Erwin looked doubtful as he asked, “Did Eren say that?”

Back then Levi had narrowed his eyes, no longer looking at Erwin as he shrugged nonchalantly, “Well, no not in those exact words, but we’re on the same page. We always have been and we’re happy. We don’t need some stupid piece of paper to officiate that.”

Erwin had sighed that night and rambled on about a bunch of other concepts that Levi had stopped listening to. Something about how it wasn’t just a piece of paper, it was much more than that. Not that it had mattered. He didn’t need to justify to anyone else what Eren and him chose to do. It made sense to him. It made sense to Eren, he wanted to add, promptly ignoring the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that maybe--just _maybe_\--it would had made more sense to confirm that with Eren first.

Just in case.

Not that he did. 

And now he was here: at the market standing in the dairy section. Levi stares at the 2% gallon of milk in the fridge, making no move to open the door and grab the milk. It isn’t until he does reach for the door handle that he realizes with utter stupidity that he had literally just bought milk yesterday. There was a whole gallon of unopened milk sitting on the second shelf of their fridge and if Eren had even opened the fridge that day, he would know. Not that Levi had been convincing or subtle in the slightest when he all but fled their apartment, but if Eren looked in the fridge then Eren would know and definitely call out his bullshit if there had ever even been a chance that he wasn’t going to already.

Levi lets go of the door handle and walks away, mindlessly wandering through the grocery store wondering what he could pick up instead, but there isn’t anything and his mind is hardly able to think about groceries.

Levi shakes his head and exits the market, still trying to piece his thoughts and his feelings about marriage together. Eventually, he finds a bench by a local park and takes a seat, watching the world pass by. 

People looked better when they were afar, not interacting with him, not in his way. He hardly tolerated anyone, but Eren had came along and made everything so easy he had almost forgotten. Forgotten that he had been a low tolerant asshole to most people back then. Probably still was, but something had changed. 

With Eren in the picture for the past seven years, maybe a lot of things.

So marriage. Why not? 

Levi didn’t understand why he had ran out the door, leaving Eren hanging, but every time he thought about it seriously, marriage and himself seemed to grow further and further apart. He had no doubt that he _loved_ Eren, so much more than loved him if there were ever even a word to describe it, but somehow while Eren had just been another piece of the puzzle in his life, marriage was the piece that never fit. He thinks a part of that had been because of his parent’s messy divorce, but other than that he couldn’t explain why he was so against it. It’s not as though he ever expected Eren and him to end up like his parents, but the officiality of it seemed like just another formality society deemed as the “norm” that he hadn’t wanted to be another statistic. Hadn’t wanted to be just like everyone else and he had thought Eren understood too. Because they had always been on the same page, haven’t they?

Even when he had attended his friends weddings in the past, he had gone because they _were_ friends and important to him, but he had wasted no time in cracking jokes about weddings and vows with Eren each time. Thinking back now, Levi pales and wonders if he had gotten it all wrong, that Eren hadn’t found his jokes as funny as he thought. 

Had he truly been oblivious all this time?

Well, fuck.

…

_ **Five years ago** _

They’re sitting in a booth at the local diner and Levi isn’t really paying attention. Distantly he hears Hanji drone on and on about some lab results that he didn’t care for, not when Eren is sitting across from him, enthralled unfortunately with what Hanji was saying, but looking so damn fine Levi has to wonder how it felt for someone to just wake up and look that good.

Maybe he’s been staring for a lot longer than he realizes, because when he hears his name and zones back in, somehow the conversation is the furthest from Hanji’s lab results. As he glances at Erwin, one of his bushy eyebrows are raised in amusement as he announces out of nowhere, "We all know Levi's only Eren-sexual."

And then Eren is spitting out his drink, one of hands quickly attempting to block his mouth as he chokes on his ginger ale and Levi’s suddenly pissed as he's glaring at Erwin for all he’s worth.

"Eren, that is so fucking disgusting," he comments, his eyes still boring holes into Erwin’s smirking face.

Eren coughs and grabs a napkin, cleaning himself as he replies, "Sorry...it was Erwin's fault. He said--”

Levi interrupts before Eren can finish repeating what Erwin started, "You hear that? It’s your fault. Shut up, Erwin."

Erwin just smirks wider and then turns to Eren, completely ignoring Levi, "Doesn't make it any less true. Surely you've noticed Eren. Levi never had an interest anyone in all 23 years of his life that I’ve known him. Never participated in our stupid games and then you walked into that bar and I swear I’ve never seen Levi move so fast."

Levi kicks Erwin beneath the table and avoids Eren’s eyes, attempting to look anywhere but him. Erwin isn’t wrong and he has some suspicions that Eren already knows, it’s been two years already, but still. The way Erwin said it… Levi’s never actually told Eren that. 

…

** _Present_ **

The key goes into the door hesitantly as Levi exhales, thankful that at least Eren had a mind to lock the door when he had ran out earlier. When had he turned into such a damn coward anyways? And what was he even scared of? 

Eren was everything to him and he’d understand, or so Levi’s told himself repeatedly all the way from the park’s walk back to their apartment. He’d mentally made a checklist: Levi just had to be reasonable, answer him, apologize for running out and have that so very overdue conversation with him. Whatever it was they decided--whatever it was Eren wanted, _even_ if it was marriage--he knew they’d work it out because he wasn’t kidding when he had always said Eren was the _only_ one. So hell if he was going to let something like marriage ruin that between them. With a huff of determination, Levi pushes his jumbled feelings of marriage aside and steps inside.

“Eren?” He calls, his voice sounding rough and still so _off,_ he just hopes Eren won’t notice. 

The house is silent and Levi thinks he’s probably angered Eren for having ran away earlier, sure that Eren probably thought he’d fucking lost it with running out for a sorry excuse like “milk” especially when he was the one who told Eren to just be upfront about asking Levi _anything_.

He cringes. Levi is a shit boyfriend sometimes and he knows he’s got to do more than just apologize to Eren, but as he wanders through the rooms of their shared home, that becomes less likely. 

Eren is nowhere to be found, the house a silent state giving off no clues as to where he’s gone. 

...

It’s a quarter after 5 in the evening and the bar is fairly empty, the sound of alternative rock in the background would’ve been perfect to Eren if it was any other day. It’s too early even for a Saturday evening, but at least the sun has set, so maybe he isn’t _that _hopeless. 

Eren sighs, nursing the scotch glass before him. He knew it had been wrong, knew he should have kept his mouth shut. It had been stupid of him to have brought it up when his gut feeling had always told him it didn’t matter. Stupid, just like it was for him to be drinking scotch when he didn’t like the taste, but it reminded him of Levi and he so wanted that in the moment after feeling like he’d done something wrong.

“So. What was so bad you’re drinking scotch, which I remind you you hate, at 5 on a Saturday all alone and texted _me_.”

“Ughh, horseface. You have no idea.”

“Starting with the insults isn’t going to do you any favors.”

Eren rolls his eyes, “And asking Levi what he thought about marriage certainly did.”

Jean laughs. Actually laughs. Damn his stupid horse neigh. 

The voice he turns to see doesn’t surprise him; he_ had _texted him after all. After Levi had ran out of the apartment talking about needing milk when Eren had brought up marriage, Eren had done nothing, but watch as Levi ran out. He hadn’t known how to react, but when he thought about it--maybe he had been right all along. Maybe Levi really didn’t want to get married and Eren was fine with that. He had_ always _been fine with that and it hadn’t made him feel like Levi loved him any less, but he had tested the waters on the possibility that Levi may had wanted marriage, only to have it blow up in his face, scaring Levi off.

Eren partially blames his friends, the ones that were always going off and asking him why he hadn’t put a ring on Levi yet, but he knows he’s the one who had let them get to him.

“Is that what happened?”

Eren groans, taking another sip of the scotch that burned his throat and left an aftertaste he wasn’t fond of. He never did understand how Levi could drink it, but here he was drinking it anyways. “More or less.”

When he doesn’t continue, Jean gives him a look and Eren sighs, before elaborating, “I subtly asked him what he thought about marriage and his views on it, and basically he just bolted out of our apartment like he’d just remembered his house was on fire. Except there was obviously no fire since we _were _home.”

Eren huffs, but once he’s talking, he’s barely able to stop. “Like Jean, he literally told me he had to get milk. As if the world would end if he didn’t. Like we even needed milk! I checked, before you ask so no I’m not overreacting.”

Jean’s chuckling, his beer having been placed in front of him and he takes a long drink before giving his thoughts. “Well, _I_ don’t see the problem. Doesn’t that put you two on the same page? If he reacted like that to marriage, he’s obviously not interested.”

When Eren stays silent, Jean elbows him, “...you still _don’t_ care for marriage, right? Or has those groups of disgustingly happy married couples we call friends finally convince you otherwise?” 

Eren makes a face, “Don’t be stupid, Jean. Of course I don’t care. I’m happy either way, with or without marriage--whatever it is Levi wants. I just thought maybe it’s finally time I asked, just in case.”

He pauses, and then, “Ugh. Seriously, it is kind of their fault. If Mikasa and Connie hadn’t kept pushing me about it, I wouldn’t have felt so necessary to spring that on Levi.”

Jean shakes his head as he takes another swig of his beer. “I think you’re both reacting a little too extreme to this.”

“Say that to Levi.”

“Sure, I’ll call him up right now and just tell him you had no intentions of getting married.”

As Jean reaches for his phone, Eren swats it out of his hands, “No! Don’t.”

Jean narrows his eyes, “Why not? You said marriage doesn’t matter to you.”

Eren looks exasperated as he stares intently at the wooden bar counters, “It _doesn’t_. I--just, Jean the way he reacted, I’ve never seen him like that…”

Softer, Eren finally voices the little insecurity he felt when Levi had fled their apartment just earlier that day, however irrational it was. “Maybe he’s rethinking all this.”

Without missing a beat, Jean snorts, “Rethinking your relationship? Yeah right, have you_ seen_ the way he looks at you? The way he _always_ looks at you?”

“Like he wants to bang me? Yeah, _I_ _know_. He tells me all the time and then we--”

“Ugh Eren, _no_, Stop! Stop.” 

Jean looks properly disgusted as he holds up a hand against Eren and downs the rest of his beer. Waving over the bartender to order something stronger, he then turns back to Eren, still grimacing. “Do notfinish the rest of that sentence. And no, you dumbass, I mean he looks at you like you’re obviously the most important person to him.”

When Eren says nothing, Jean elaborates, “So _why_ are you even letting a misunderstanding bother you so much? Just tell him that it doesn’t matter to you either way and you were just asking. Problem solved, right?”

Eren looks conflicted, realistically knowing that Jean was right, but also that he couldn’t explain the uneasy feeling he had about it. Like he was twenty-one again and falling head over heels for the guy that he had made out with that one night that had somehow turned into multiple nights had made any sense. He supposes guessing what Levi was thinking had never been his strong suit, not back then and not even now, yet somehow it had all just worked out. Unable to find a reason to refute what Jean suggests or the right words to reply, he settles for, “I don’t know.”

“I swear if you were any denser, Levi really would leave you.”

“Says the one who’s single and can’t get anyone to stay.” Apparently when it came to insulting Jean though, those words came naturally. 

“Shut up. I’m not single, I’m just not in a relationship…yet,” he mumbles to himself.

“Sure, keep telling yourself that,” Eren teases.

Teasing and joking was the nature of their friendship and at a time like this, he’s grateful. Out of all their friends, Jean was the only one who hadn’t settled down and tied the knot, something that they always bonded over even as Eren was perfectly content living with Levi without the label. Calling him had really only been his only choice and surprisingly, Jean gave decent advice when he really needed to.

“Thanks, by the way. For coming out tonight. Hope I didn’t keep you away from any of your non-relationships.”

Jean rolls his eyes and pushes another glass of alcohol at Eren in attempt for the other to drop the subject. “Don’t sweat it.”

…

When Eren finally makes it home that night, he’s definitelydrunk. As he stumbles his way through his apartment, he’s surprised to hear the rustle of sheets, only to open the door to a Levi that is sitting up in their bed.

“Eren?”

Eren blinks and it takes him a moment to register that Levi is awake, the dimly lit night lamp on and he cringes slightly, having wanted Levi to have been asleep. Asleep, so that when Eren falls asleep, he could wake up tomorrow and believe that nothing ever happened. Or blame it on alcohol for memory loss. Whatever.

“Oh...hey Levi,” he breathes, hoping that his intoxicated state would mask the uncertainty in his voice.

“Where have you been?” Levi asks, gently. Or at least it sounds gentle.

As Eren slips into the room, he averts Levi’s gaze as he begins to strip out of his clothes, “Uhm...I was just out, drinking with Jean. He uh, wanted to talk.” 

Without waiting for an answer from Levi’s part, Eren quickly announces, “I’m going to shower. Don’t want to stench up the sheets, yeah? Don’t wait up.” 

In a fluid of drunken motions impressive for someone who had so much to drink that night, Eren escapes into the adjourning bathroom and shuts the door. 

Levi stares at the closed door and sighs. He supposes he deserved that. 

When Eren finally does make his way out of the bathroom and onto their shared bed, smelling of tea tree mint and cucumber soap, Levi opens his mouth to ask, but the words get caught in his throat. Eren’s still avoiding his gaze and even as he tries again, the words never make it out. Eventually, Levi closes his mouth and reasons that even if he couldn’t get the words out it was fine for now. Fine. After all, they could talk in the morning when Eren was sober.

…

Except the morning talk never comes, even as Levi wakes up early enough to make breakfast for Eren. It’s a part of an apology and he’s even made those cloud eggs that Eren loves so much, but when he goes to wake Eren after cooking, the other man is already dressed.

Dressed and apparently has plans. That’s a first. Normally when Eren came home from a night of drinking, the only thing he wanted to do was laze around the next day. 

Levi only raises an eyebrow as he repeats, “You have plans?”

“Shopping! I wanted to shop and actually finish setting up our study. You know you’re always saying I put it off, so it’s about time,” Eren says, still not looking at Levi and really, wasn’t he ever even going to look his way? 

Surprised by the early enthusiasm, Levi blinks as he tries to go along with it, “Well...I could go with you. We can have breakfast first? Sure I always pester you about it, but really it’s fine. There isn’t a rush.”

Eren seems to hesitate, as if he wanted to refute the idea and Levi opens his mouth to just come out and apologize, but Eren’s already nodding and leaving the room as he calls back, “Okay, breakfast.”

The breakfast they share is...eventful. Eventful, but not in the way that Levi expected it to be. He had planned to talk so that they would get back on the same page, the way they’ve always been. Too bad for him Eren spends the entire breakfast dominating the conversation and talking about his ideas for the room that Levi can only sit in stunned silence and give brief answers of agreement. He hadn’t even known that Eren had thought out so much about how he wanted to set up their study and yet here he was, having apparently thought of everything.

Literally everything. The paint colors to use, the types of desks, bookshelves, where to put everything and even the small decors he wanted to get. Levi would be impressed, ecstatic even, if he wasn’t so worried that this was all just a sugarcoat for when Eren would blow up in his face about Levi’s questionable behavior just the day before.

…

Throughout the day Eren seems almost normal. Like the entire yesterday never happened. It’s not until they decide to take a break from shopping and sit at a bench that Levi notices the shop across from them.

_Of course_ it’s a jewelry store and_ of course _their window displays are wedding rings. He didn’t seem to be able to get it off his mind and with the store glaring so obviously at him, he almost takes personal offense. Levi glances at Eren only to find that the other man seems to be doing anything, except looking at the shop. 

Levi attempts to still his racing pulse and places a hand over Eren’s. He swallows his nerves as he begins, “Hey, Eren. Can we talk about yesterday?”

Eren’s smile wavers just a bit as he looks at Levi, “Hm? About me drinking until 2 am? Don’t worry, it won’t become a habit.”

“No, not about your drinking habit,” Levi frowns and then fights the uncertain feeling he gets whenever he thinks about marriage and forces himself to continue, “About...what you asked me.”

Levi’s voice gets stuck in his throat again and he clears it multiple times, ready to finally say it, “About--”

Eren interrupts him, standing up suddenly and pulling Levi up with him, “Oh, Levi! Look they have puppies over there. I’m going to pet them, alright?”

“Eren, wait!” Levi calls, but Eren has already let go of his hand and wandered down the street.

…

The next day Levi finds work exceedingly slow and himself impossible to concentrate, when all he could think about was Eren and how they really needed to have that talk. When he gets home that day, he dumps his work bag on the living room floor before quickly throwing open their bedroom door. 

“Eren, we need to talk about, about--,” Levi struggles. _Fuck _this was honestly getting ridiculous how much he’s stuttering over that word. Since when did he even stutter?

“Mar-,” he finally continues only to glance into the room and stop.

Levi’s mouth hangs open, the sight of Eren with his cheeks flushed, his cock hanging hard and leaking against the palm of his hand. Oh god, his attraction to Eren has always been his weakness.

Fuck, _fuck_. 

Then Eren’s moaning out hisname in that tone, “_Levi_, please.”

And it’s that desperate _I’ve been waiting for you to find me _voice that Levi forgets entirely what he walked in to do. Ten minutes later he finds himself bent over their bed, moans progressively growing louder at the feeling of being filled with Eren inside of him and the filthy imagery Eren provides him about what he’d been doing before Levi came home.

Levi bites Eren’s shoulder as he gets off to the feel of Eren’s rough hand running over his cock as Eren thrusted inside of him and fucking _fuck_ he’s already close.

It’s not long before he’s falling over the edge, release shooting out of him as he bites down hard enough against Eren that he’s sure it’s going to leave a mark. 

The sex is amazing. It always is. 

Too spent out and high on his orgasm by the time Eren’s done, Levi is far too tired to remember what he had originally wanted to ask Eren. It’s not until Eren is asleep and Levi himself just about to drift off, that the lingering thought that he still hasn’t asked intrudes him. 

…

“Eren, can we talk about the ma…,” Levi scowls at himself, the words that leave his mouth entirely not what he wanted to say and Eren is already looking away from him and trying to make excuses, but Levi only manages to say, “marines?”

Eren looks confused, but upon hearing Levi’s words, he looks almost entirely too pleased by the sudden turn in conversation. “Oh. Sure, sure!”

When Levi says nothing, stunned at his own words, Eren only looks expectantly at Levi and supplies, “What about the marines? You know I considered joining them back when we first met? I was getting kind of sick of studying and...” 

Seemed like today wouldn’t be the day, either.

…

It’s been an entire month. A month of Levi stumbling over the words and Eren’s become suspiciously good at sensing when Levi wanted to bring up_ the_ topic and really, Levi doesn’t even know why Eren’s the one avoiding the topic now, but enough is enough.

Determined to at last put an end to this madness, Levi walks into their apartment and states, “Eren we need to talk about _it_.”

Eren cringes inwardly and then slowly exhales as he asks innocently from the couch, “Good evening to you too. Talk about what?”

Levi waits, and then in a breath he starts, “Okay...I know it’s been...a month. I _know _you know what I’m referring to.”

Levi watches as Eren opens his mouth attempting to refute, but Levi quickly keeps talking before he can get a word in, because _hell no_, he was definitely saying his piece today, “And I deserve all the avoidances, the excuses, the change of topics that you’ve been using every time I try to bring it up. I do, after having ran out of this very apartment a month ago without an explanation and then being the coward that couldn’t find the right words to bring it up the following days. _And _when I finally could find the words to tell you, it seemed like you never wanted to hear it and we’ve been running in circles. That’s my fault too, for having waited so long, but please Eren, just hear me out.”

Knowing the irrationality of being afraid of this conversation despite how good things still seemed to be minus the whole landmine marriage conversation they’ve been avoiding, Eren remembers Jean’s chiding words against him each time he asks why he still hadn’t cleared things up with Levi. Finally, Eren tears his gaze away from the carpet that had somehow became so interesting and up to to Levi.

_Here goes nothing._

Levi looks determined more than anything. “I’m not mad, I was never mad or whatever nonsense you’ve probably deluded yourself with this month that made you want to avoid the topic entirely. I just... I guess _marriage _freaked me out a little as a concept when you first mentioned it. It’s never sat right with me, and maybe it’s partly because as a kid I watched my parent’s marriage fail in the worst way possible, or maybe it’s just that I was always content to be with someone, with _you_, without the formalities, that none of that mattered and it never crossed my mind. It’s always came up with Hanji and Erwin and all our other friends, but I always thought you were on the same page as me. I always thought, for whatever stupid reason on my part, that maybe, just maybe you didn’t need that either. So I’m sorry for assuming, sorry for running out on you and I just want you to know that even if you want to get married, if it’s with you...I’ll...I’ll be okay with it. Marriage is just a piece of paper saying things are ‘official’ and I don’t need that to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but if it’s what you want… Okay. Because there’s never going to be anyone else for me.” 

The breath of air that Eren exhales is purely relief. He can’t believe how long he took to hear out Levi, or how long it’s been since the topic first came up. Suddenly he asks, “Levi, were you even listening to anything I said when I first brought it up besides ‘I was thinking about marriage?’”

The guilty look that crosses Levi’s face tells Eren everything he needs to know and he’s almost in hysterics as he laughs. “Oh my god.”

Levi only stares, confused as Eren continues laughing before he finally gets out, “Because if you had, you would have known that I said it _didn’t matter _to me. I just wanted to know what you thought. I seriously believed that all this time the reason you ran out was because I scared you off and even bringing it up was too much for you. I thought maybe you were reconsidering our relationship…”

Levi looks shocked, before he recovers and quickly assures him, “Eren, god. No. Never. I really didn’t listen, I’m sorry.”

Eren shakes his head, hating that of course Jean had been right and really it was their own fault for putting each other through the stupidity of the last month. “No, I’m sorry too. I guess we both weren’t listening, or didn’t want to listen. I can’t exactly excuse my behavior this past month, either,” Eren says with a sheepish smile.

Levi blinks and then breaks out into his own smile, “I’m not complaining about all the sex we’ve had…but you really don’t care? It doesn’t bother you that all our friends are married and we’re not?”

Eren looks at him, the honesty and adoration shining so clearly in his eyes that Levi wonders why he was ever so afraid, “No, it really doesn’t. I only really asked because Connie and Mikasa wouldn’t stop bothering me.”

Levi pauses, the feeling that they had been thinking the same thing so overwhelmingly _right _he blurts, “I love you Eren, you know that?”

“Yeah. I do.”

…

_ **Five months later** _

As Eren turns to walk through the gates of the train station to leave on his business trip, Levi’s loud voice stops him as he’s about to turn away. It’s so sudden, he almost misses the words shouted at him, “Marry me!” 

Eren stops, turning back around to stare at Levi from the car, eyes wide and voice sounding unsure as he calls back, “What?”

Eren’s shocked, certain he hasn’t heard correctly, but Levi’s also shocking himself. Shocked that he had been carrying the ring with him for the past month, waiting and thinking and cowering out and fuck, he’d do this. Here. He yells back, “I said marry me!”

Eren is sputtering, not even sure his words are jumbling out right as he shouts back, “But we… you said.. I thought--”

At this point, they’re getting strange looks from the people around. Apparently yelling “marry me” attracted a lot of attention and onlookers. Levi ignores them all as he calls back, “You thought wrong!”

“Levi, we really don’t have to--”

Levi’s footsteps are loud, Eren hyper aware as they become closer to him, Levi jogging up to close the distance between them and his stunning silver eyes meeting his own confused ones.

“I want to Eren. I want you to marry me.” 

And then Levi is on his knees, pulling out a black velvet box, all the cliches of the moment so vivid in his memory that he’s witnessed from their friends around them, from strangers, from movies, but never in the last five months did he think that he’d see it too.

Eren can’t help but laugh, certainly a reaction Levi wasn’t going for when he was down on his knees about to make a proposal he never thought he’d make, but then that face is splitting into a grin and beaming down so hard at Levi, Levi’s heart swells with a feeling that he knows is right. A feeling he won’t regret. 

Doesn’t regret a thing as he finally breathes, “I know I’ve said some things, that we’ve both had our thoughts--that we don’t need marriage. Hell marriage is just a piece of paper and I still stand by those words, but exchanging rings, making it official, throwing it into the faces of all our too nosy friends who know us that have given us so much hell over this--having you legally be tied to me doesn’t seem like the worst thing in the world. And I’ve given this a lot of thought, I really think that it’s finally time. I want to do this for you, if you’ll let me.”

Levi smiles as he’s opening the click that keeps the ring box shut and breathes, “Eren Jaeger, will you marry me?”

Eren is still laughing at the incredulous of the situation, taking in Levi’s face, his reaction, the obvious nervousness he looks and...fuck, Levi looks hot on this knees, so unsure and determined that Eren almost feels bad as he replies easily, “Jesus fuck, I sure hope that’s not the worse thing… but no.”

His reply comes so natural, so easy that he hadn’t even needed to think it over, that he almost starts laughing again when he thinks about his own overreacting behavior to Levi running out of the apartment half a year ago and the month that followed.

“Oh thank god, I really---wait, what did you say?” Levi stops himself, blinking up at Eren so confused with worry in his eyes that, Eren only loves him more.

“I said no. No Levi, I’m not going to marry you _because_ I love you.”

“Eren, I don’t think that’s how--”

“Levi just shut up and listen. No, I won't marry you because I know how you feel about it. I still remember the first time I brought it up and you fled our apartment to pretend and get milk and while it’s become a more hilarious of a memory than anything, especially given how much _I_ freaked out over your reaction, I know how the concept makes you feel. And when you continuously tried to bring it up after that, but I could see how uncomfortable it made you and even when you explained to me why, well what I’m getting at is...do we really need to? You have nothing to worry about, honestly. You’re happy, I’m happy and like you’ve always said, why do we need to be “official”? We’ve never had anything to prove to each other, that’s why I fell in love with you. It’s _why_ I will always love you, with or without marriage.”

Levi stares, dumbfounded but relieved all at the same time and it’s in that moment that he remembers just exactly why fell in love with Eren, too. “I… uh already got us rings though,” Levi replies helplessly as he glances at the rings in his hand.

“Good, because I still want them.”

Levi raises an eyebrow, “You want us to exchange rings without the marriage? We might as well get married.”

And then Eren is laughing again, before he leans in and kisses him. Kisses him hard and long enough that distantly he hears clapping in the background. As he breaks the kiss and grins at all the unwanted attention they’re getting, he asks in wonderment, “Levi, do you really want to get married though?”

Levi blinks, knowing how he’s ran in circles at this topic all this time and knowing that while they didn’t need it, it _was_ Eren. “I mean, disregarding my own stupidity over this whole thing, why the hell not?”

“Is that your shitty second proposal just moments after I already said no?”

“If I say it is, will you say yes this time?”

“Can you do it properly at least?”

“I did the first time, this isn’t a movie--”

“Levi.” 

“Right. Eren, will you marry me?”

“You bought the rings, you even got down on one knee for me once and looked so adorably flustered... no sane person will realistically say no.”

“Well,_ you _did--”

“Levi? Shut up. Yes, of course I’ll marry you.” 


End file.
